Peace and Prayers

Room mates ! you cant live with them ..nor can you live without them

There is only one luxury of not owning your own house , it is that you can move ..when ever you feel like it , where ever you feel like , provided you could find two idiots to share rent and advance with , If you are a bit intelligent you would always end up with two more idiots , and you know what happens when you have Four idiots .The thing with idiots is ofcourse , that they seem to enhance , to multiply and to raise to the power of their idiocacies !It is a deadly combination of Disaster and brainless mayhem , But when you realise that they were idiots afterall .. well , it would be extremely cynical not to laugh . And the luxury ends there ..right there with the idiots !

Thambaram ! the godlen and silver days

The story starts in Thambaram .There i was in MCC college , i mean near to it , Every day we would see .. exactly one thousand two hundred and ninety seven females walking pass the main gate where we would have our tea and daily dose of political discussions . It is as if at the end of discussion one person would emerge wiser than the combined wisdom of entire political morons running white house and green house and our own black house in Delhi , And ofcourse the thing about having a discussion with idiots is that you can always prove to yourself and to the pretty girl who listens with curiosity , that you are one step ahead of them in proving that they are idiots ! i mean its as if you dont have to do a thing , you just have to listen , infact just by listening you can prove to others and to yourself that they are idiots, Life was perfect , so was tea and so was the one thousand two hundred and ninety seven females who passed through the teashop and put a hole in my heart ! i was in love .. with these idiots, the tea shop and World news , and ofcourse i was madly in love with all the females too . .

Enter idiot no. 1 . I would not like to mention the name of this idiot ..For it is retared and stupid ! i wonder how their parents could forcast his stunted growth by giving him such a retarded name . Hey dont mistake .. i mean this guy is wonderfully intelligent for all the work that he was endowed with , he even earned couple of digits more salary than i did and did passed his exams with more than the average marks , and ofcourse being and idiot , he had more number of girlfriends than there were fingers in both of my hands , so i stopped counting . his girlfriends and stupidities , He called me telling me that he found a room near Sholinganallur ! phew here we go again i thought .

He virtually threatened me into joining him to his room . Hey the room was okay . I mean it was clean and sorted out . But it was in scholinganallur , It was exactly one thousand two hundred and ninety seven million light years from Civilization ! and anything which was female had four legs and fed on grass….. no no no no .. not that grass you think ..i m talking the REAL GRASS ..you know the one which grows on road side ! that grass ..not Marinjuana ! silly

The begining of the end of all beginings !

Hardly had one month passed since we had started living together ..that we were endowed with the company of two more idiots , It was Idiots multiplied and raised to the power of infinity , and add to that their dirty laundry and poor imagination , coupled with baddest of jokes and above all these .. you got to deal with girl friends out numbering my fingers ,,nails and even hairs too ! its as if females were wildly attracted to poor jokes and idiots . And it was not very long , before the owner of the house had invited us ..to move out as soon as possible .Being idiots , the first reaction was to search for another room , and being idiots we were extremely angry and frustrated of not being able to find rooms stupid enough to accomodate all our stupidities . Its as if life has come to a full stop and all our idiocacies were staring at us ..in our crotch ! It was worse than the worst Vijay movie that i had seen . and wait i heard he is making another one ! phew ! and so were we ..no we were not making another film , we were getting ready for another disaster .

I think sane house owners who are not greedy are more rare to find than intelligent room mates and beautiful girls who were not attracted to idiots ! I know some people do get both and the houseowners too ! they are called movie stars , or politicians .. or ofcourse .. beautiful girls ! Three thousand five hunred rupees per head ! that was what the room owner was asking , perhead , and we were four of us , and if you minus the luggage that would make us five , i know ,…what you are thinking ..please go with the flow and do believe me this maths is infinitely less stupid than the idiots that i live with !

Hey dont get me wrong here , the room was extra fine and …..what will i say about the females that i saw in Thiruvanmayur , it was as if for the first time in my life , i found my vocabulary failing to describe the quantity and quality of female hormones that was on the air ! one smell and we were ready for combined stupidity of fourteen thousand brainless rupees ! that was only the rent that we idiots shared plus the house maintainance and ofcourse the water money

Finally Suru Loses it !

There i was , at the end of the month , the first month ! Recession was affecting my social life too . and somehow or the other , for the first time in my life ..the economics of moving to a place which was expensive , had made me reconsider living among female bovines in sholinganallur , or thambaram ..or any place which was far from greedy house owners ! i had it this month , i hardly had two thousand rupees , and there was still twenty days to go .

For one whole week i could survive on one meal a day , that was twenty ruppes a day , and i skipped breakfast and dinner too !and i heard that they were going to cut the incentive ! future looked more dark than our room on a sunday morning ! and so dusty that i could not sneeze due to blockage in my nostrils ! This was the last nail in the coffin in which i laid to rest all hopes of having a decent lifestyle in chennai and worse still bid official adieue to the last hope of having a conversation extended than two sentences with anything female save for the bovines !

So good bye Girls .. good bye nice place which is very expensive .. i am leaving you all !

Hey did you know that cow dung was having antiseptic properties …. but does not look good on your shoes .. or your bike ! or your face ! but i had to deal with it all . as i was planning to move back to Thambaram ! for the want of having to save money ! it was a dead end to my hopes of meeting a beautiful girl in a beautiful beach .. in a beautiful apartment ! HONKk…… oh my god i almost missed another one ! These idiots were really fine people ..they loved me ..respected me .. and thought that i was intelligent ! but .. they were bloody expensive to live with .I could manage two marriage and one thousand two hundred and ninety seven of my own children ! .but these people ..just three of them ! ! Oh god ! yeah god ! .. i think i am doubting your intelligence ..if product is this much malfunctioning .. i think they ought to cancel your licence ! to make humans again ! EveR !! God ! i am sorry ! I Love you .. i adore and even worship you .. But damn ..you make some mistakes .. and you make me meet these mistakes .. Please have mercy on me .. Dont you see i am working in an IT company with limited pay (hey i m just a Programmer okay not PA so i get less pay despite working almost on the same level )

Molly s Lips
Man is always obessesed with what he can not have

.Rich man who is not healthy craves for health

.Everyone would always invent something or the other

to make themselves miserable . Its as if they would

derive their pleasure from torturing themselves to

the very limits of sanity .only when he loses all

..and something more ..does he realise what he was

having ..how beautiful it was what he was having

What little did i indeed had ..thought Ram.

He was almost sixty years old . He thanked even his

name, which was very old.World was moving very fast

around him . It was as if he was suffocated with the

world which was moving with dizzying speed . Every

where there was movement . some slow .. some fast

.but surely every one was moving somewhere else .

some would even move even when they were sleeping

..some would move in thier thoughts even when they

were standing still . Movement was life and noise

for Ram . without movement .things would seem so

empty . It was only to fill the emptiness of this meaninless silence that we actually move around and seek immense sensory overload with movements !

But i was moving towards the end of all movements . i was moving towards immobility .i was moving and slowly and so inevitably moving towards my own death . with memories only to enhance the reality of what i was about to face .. So thought Ram . He was living in an age where RAM was nothing but an obselete technological jargon . Ever since the inception of virtual material memory technology , silicone conductors and electronic circuits has been rendered obselete . Now chemical reactions and virtual nuerochemicals do the maths for the complicated machines that humans used . He remembered how it was when there was lot of excitment when there was a new movie released and the music would play in everyone s tune s. Now its all about participatory and even collaborative music where the music changes with the mood of the mind . Once connected to the head , it will automatically read the mental pattern and would create music with its own database of music from through out the entire history of humanity . Some people had a very tough time controlling the machine . Its as if the machine would have a mind of its own

The music machine was a really huge hit when it was introduced . It was called the M-Tunes .Now even this was nearing obscelance. Now everything is controlled by mind . Moving and using muscles to achieve what one wants is considered stone age ..or so called Desktop age .

The border between man and machine was slowly blurring . So much advancement in the integration of electronics or neuronics as it is called today .. had made these machines a mere extension of human mind and body .

Now they are talking about genonics . It was a rare integration of our gene and DNA with micro robotics and nano reactives .

Love was still a very intruiging feeling that no amount of advancement in electronics could help resolve . There were some really awesome simulation softwares which had made them feel love and would simlute virtual Lovers with advanced emotional quotients and artificial intelligence . Microsoft love softwares were always full of bugs . It would always express irrational behaviour which added to its charm . Some even argued that these vital flaws where what made these more real and appealing . There were so many opensource love simulation softwares which were really amazing and creative . There were softwares which had some really popular yesteryear beauties like Cameron Diaz and Kate winslet as charectors which assist in realisation of love . Some were even based on obsolete film technologies and Romantic sitcoms of television heydays .


But in reality ..people rarely spoke to each other . Reality was something which was avoided at all costs . No one even cared for decent food or clothings . There was always some virtual vitamins available which would make one feel good after having a screenshots of them !

To the two thousand billion people who could not afford even food ..these remained at best a strange fiction . Some even thought that they were the work of some supernatural forces. There was a strange shortage of food and water . Ram was worried if his old age and ever dwindling saving would land him in poverty . He was relatively rich in his younger days . But the rat race electronics and obscelence of his skills had made him irrelevant to modern day economics . He was forced to retire after a writing software with advanced intelligence had wrote much more inspiring and artistic works than he did . The manufacturers claimed that the software only needs to be fed with one paragraph of the writer to figure out his writing pattern and it would simulate and enhance the writing style .

There was no orginality , thought Ram .

He wondered whether humans had figured out the equation of life . May be with insights into mathematics and electronics so advanced that it was now possible for man to look at his existance and understand and to control one s past future and that of other life forms and also non life forms .

He wondered if Sheni was alive today . Sheni was an upper middle class girl ..the only girl Ram had ever loved . Ever since she had married her dream lover in virtual space , Ram had lived a life hating the virtual technology . Sheni was really lost in the virtual simulations which were taking place at that time . Reality and dream world created had made no difference to her . but to Ram .. it was an end of a twenty five year old affair . Ram had started loving sheni since he was 10 years old . He did not recognise his strange affinity which had filled his night and days with wonderful fulfillment as love until he had seen his first romantic comedy film in english .They remained friends for a very long time . But Ram always insists that their relationship was something more than just plain friendship .

It was on his thirty fifth Birthday that Sheni had decided to Marry her virtual friend Mr Imran Khan . It was a very advanced software simulation of artifical reality by Microsoft . Everyone her age was fast adopting to such softwares to end thier loneliness and boredom .Most of them even considered it far more superior than a real relationship .

Ram had always felt all these as masturbatory . It was almost as if the world was in a big masturbatory hallucination . It was eating up what little shit it was capable of making .

Suicide was a really old fashioned way of ending one s life . There were so many modern methods of ending one s existance . There was Public booths which would dispense Suicide kits to those who were willing to buy them . It was as if Government was promoting painless suicide .People just could not bear physical and direct pain .

It was on his way back from beach that Ram had Got hold of a latest neuronic Suicide kit . It was illegal to sell suicide kits to those above Poverty line . But Ram had some friends in the Village . He got it from them . There were many places untouched by modernisation . He was glad to see among many things Fossil fuels and Petrol driven wagons and bikes. He was in tears when he saw as Apache RTR . It was his dream bike which he also happened to own ! ..only when he was forty five years younger .

There was no injection or chemicals involved in the nueronic suicide kit . It was just a headgear of sorts . you were just supposed to wear it. and switch it on !

He decided to have few glasses of whiskey and his favourite music to play .Real whiskey was so punchent and hard to down .. so thought Ram . but he was more than happy to have it . He had many friend when he was young and able . But at this time when he decided to say good bye . he remembered a few of them . There was one Mathew .. one hickson..glanson .. Siva kumar .. Ajeesh .. Molly .. Steve .. Rubrick ..He was grateful for the memories ..Breaking the god illusion once and for all had been the biggest achievement of the century ..so claimed the modern computer governed society .But He prayed to the non existing god before he sipped his last glass of whiskey . Johny walker ..his favourite band .

A really wild ride ..it was just like Marinjuana . He failed to differentiate between reality and illusion or so called Maya ..

But for Ram .. Electronic maya was something he never really wanted ! It ended with Beep

Everything ....

even Silence Ended with His death ! The suicide kit automatically informs goverment about his death . The organs were Vital .Many invaluable components could be made with human plasma and nuerons .

Humans feeding on humans ..

just for the pleasure of it !!

Make love with yourself

Reality Cheking
it is indeed a strange world . to find the answers

is easier than to understand question . Infact all

answers has always been an escapism of sorts from

any real questions.

Why do we ask so many questions . now there

is a certain aesthetics to what is being asked is it

. There were many questions in my life . Some were

stupid ..some intelligent .some funny ..some so

severely depressing ..


I ve asked myself several qeustions to

myself while i was waiting for her to return from

her duty .It had been seven years since i saw her .

Yes exactly seven years .And that too the last time

i saw her it was as if watching a faint flicker of a

lamp before it had went out.Anticipation was leaving

me breathless.Will she really come ..or had this

been a joke all along .Better half of human life had

been spent on waiting .We wait to grow up ..to get

out first bike ride ..we wait for our first kiss..we

wait for our marriage..we wait for our first child

.. his / her education..their achievement .. and the

most helpless waiting.. the waiting for death .. But

waiting for her on the gate in my car had been the

most sweetest waiting i had done so far . The

pleasure and anticipation had far exceeded the

excitement of eagerly awaiting the climax of an

ordinarily intelligent movie .i could sense the pain

in my right eye reoccuring again after the gap of

almost two hours

It had been just one week before that i had

seen accident happen to me after a very long time .

It was unbelievably shocking to say the least

.Aliyaah..that s what i had screamed to Mathew ..as

the bike had almost touched the rim of the road .. i

instantly knew that any amount of screaming ..or

praying ..or any bargain with god can not make me

get back to safety . I was only fearing worse . As i

was plunging head first into tarmac.I did not knew

which part of my body was going to get maximum

punishment . Obviously i had given up any hope of

expecting damages which could be healed within a

week , I had always been amazed how easy or bearable

it is for one to be bleeding all over and still

manage not to faint . Yep what i feared worse had

not happened .. and i did not faint . Only if i was

as courageous and gutsy when i first started

proposing to girls . but when you are in first

standard and still in your diapers of sorts. you

dont exactly evolve your courage to the level of

being steady ! i could find dirt and sand all over

my mouth and eyes .I stopped crying a really long

time ago . My friends bike was lying almost twelve

feet down from the ground . I was so totally

helpless in not being able to go there and do

anything about bringing the bike to road again .

As i had felt the torch of a mobile

telephone probe the extend of my injuries , i felt a

sigh of relief in not having excessive exaggerations

for the one who saw my face in the faint light of

the mobile .He was infact relieved of sorts that i

only had some minor injuries of sorts. but blood ..

The one which is thicker than water..and petrol ..

was running all over my exposed skins . I was not

exactly scared . I only feared not being able to

bath or go to loo without risking infection . Had to

keep out of water till the time i get it healed .the

very water ..the giver of life .Also gave life to

the germs which rot and fed on my wounds and

effectively myself.Water was not my friend ..nor it

was my enemy .infact water was neutral . To me ..to

the microbes..to life .. to death . to healing ..and

for disease.

It was almost starting to heal.I saw her

standing across the road ! i felt that i would die

of suffocation . She was half naked and fully

clothed . She was autumn and winter and spring

too.She was to me at that moment life for my eyes as

well as ears as much as she was to my heart and to

soul . She asked me to wait .I was willing to wait .

a bit more i thought .. i waited like life waited

for a meaning . like meanings had waited for life !

I still could not believe my eyes ears body

mind or soul that she was walking towards me at that

moment ! There was no magic ! there was no music !

there even was not some fragrance of rose ..nor

lillies or some fantastic and extraordinary

miracles.But still .. that moment .. when she came

near me .. i felt that i was witnessing a miracle .

But for her ..i was just a friend . Infact

may be someone even less than a friend . A curiosity

! yeah .. i mostly thought that i was just a

curiousity to her . Just a passing fancy . May be

she was attracted to me as a child was to bright

flourscent colours . I was absolutely a non

necessory accessory of sorts . Just a decoration .

nothing more . A passtime even at best . or may be

something worse .. a disturbance or an amusement . i

was one of those creatures which could easily have

been dispensed from existance ..so i thought .

I was looking at her face through out the

conversation , i was looking for the slightest hint

of intimacy , which i had hoped for .. dreamed of ..

and could never find in real life . i almost felt

that she was obligated if not anything to ride with

me on her way to her next assignment .


I not exactly enjoyed riding the car i

thought .. i really liked myself not to enjoy riding

cars as much as i do bike s ..But infact it was sad

but true that i indeed loved riding cars as well .

may be more than bike . But cars was something i

could ill afford to run on a regular basis . Bike

was totally fun.Especially My RTR .


She had not spoken that much to me in our

way back . I had imagined my mothers warmth ..my

fathers care ..intelligence wit ..humour and something which answered all my unanswered questions in my conversation with her . but she must have been tired or repulsed or must have felt disgusted that some one could come that distance just to have a chat with her .But what was worse was that i was even feeling responsible for the stale situation.We must have had countless conversations about infinite topics everything under the sun and more . but unfortunately or fortunately , i had always felt that our conversations were incomplete .May be something could not be said , may be somethings needs to be told over and over again.

I had almost missed having several accidents on our way back . Thankfully , but secretely i had always had felt that if i wanted to die , the best was would be to be near her when i did,i had seen several deaths ...murders..suicides..and so called natural death ..none to me had the charm of having the one you love near you .Fulfiling almost our destiny of sorts . Life was to me nothing more than what was happening at that moment , this was probably the very reason why i was born , why i was grown , and probably i would not find something more meaningful in my death too .. so i thought


Forty five minutes of meaningless staring at each other had us reaching metro city in a somewhat lame journey which was wasted as well as disappointing . I smelt nothing but fear and a sense of deeply felt insecurity in her proximity with me . She was to me as close as butter in cold water . like being fed with plastic bag when you are dieing of hunger , i was feeling deeply disappointed and beaten with her warmth . I would have had more warm converstations with an enemy in a battle field right when he was about to kill me with sword .


i did not curse myself or her ..nor did i feel angry or disappointed . A moment was passing by me .. Perhaps the most beautiful moment of my life . Perhaps the most beautiful moment in the history of humanity . Peak of experience and beauty ..

But we were too engaged with our fears that we had missed it ..i feared having her dissappointed with my unimaginative thoughts and conversations..she was fearing many things ..among them the safety of my car and our journey back home .We all miss our moments .. These moments which make life really beautiful does not have to be in a hill station ..or in an exotic islands surrounded by lush greenaries.. These moments are what we could have had with the ones we love .. no matter where ..even in a maruthi Van running on LPG .Only we need to open our eyes ... to the beating hearts .. to emotions and love .. we need to open our eyes and ears .. our soul to life which loves us more than we could ever contain with our entire life of every single human ..animal ..atom .. eletrons or protons .

Sheni i failed to tell you on our way back that i love you . And you failed to hear me say that i love you ..

We both failed our love ..our life .. and our very destiny .. because i feared boring you .. and you feared being with ME

Last week has been one of the most static week of my life . Had to meet with an accident ! It was a sunday evening of last week . We were on a joy ride in my Friends brand new bike . It was a superfine evening and the bike was really one of the best available in indian market . A pulsor 220 . It was very hard for us to not to push it to the very limits of engineering .
But being the quitenssential indians we were , we always were concerned about only one thing .. to safely gaurd our possession to the extend of covering it with the last piece of dignified plastic we have , By plastic we mean polythene cover ..covering the seats .. the shields and stuff.
Ofcourse we indians never even broken any single rule in the usermanual . And we were only going below 40 Kmph .
Everything was really smooth and handsome .Even managing occasional glances from what little members of opposite sex who happened to grace the roads .

It was on the turning towards the ECR road that we noticed that we had run out of road in the steep incline towards the bridge . And when we realised that we had indeed come to the end of the road , it was too late to react ..or to break ..or to even to scream . The feeble noise which came from me even was confused enough not to have any expressions in it . It was one of the most shocking and unbelievable event in the last few years . Its been a really long time since i had fallen from bike . And this was something i really did not wanted at this point of time .infact at any point of my life ! Yepp .. only when i fell with my head first in the sand and tarmac did i realise that it was all too late but to take the fall with all my stride .

I could not stand up immediately after the fall . but to my credit i did stand up only to realise the blood clouding my ability to see with my right eye . I really dont know how to thank those two guys who were on our back in an Apache RTR . They did stop immediately and tried to help us get up .

Nothing serious really did happen to me or to Mathew who was driving . Just some minor scratches and bruises . More to my ego than to those skins!

Chennai -Adsense and fate
On a saturday evening , Being so terribly and horribly single, taking a stroll on the Beasent Nagar beach , You could see millions , yah literally billions of couples , hand in hand . Browsing shops , having what little could be afforded by their pocket money .But they all indulged in teasing me ..Quinessentially and existentially teasing the reality of my existance as a bachelor being satisfied only by images and videos of mating and dating ! Jealousy..there is no cure for that emotional AIDS i suppose.

Enough was enough , I so desperately wanted a girlfriends ..Now what makes an individual my girlfriend so unique ! i had many friends who also happen to be girls . But there was nothing female about them . Yeah i had good times with them . Even the best time and chat with them . But at the end f the day , they all sounded like myself .May be an extension of my thought or something . There was not at anypoint any singular element in their conversation which had even remotely indicated that they had any trace of female hormones running through their blood . Yeah ..they all loved male stars who were boyish . Yeah they shared their interest in Cooking .But man .. they just were so Masculine and so unbearable in their conversation .May be they dont excite me sexually !

Yah that s it ..Eureka ! YEP sex was the one thing with which i should be able to recognise the one who is my girl friend. Sex is something which is taken for granted by so many of them lucky teenagers endowed with good looks , Pocket money and Their Dads ferrari with petrol ladden enough to give shivers to any pretty thing on short skirt and waxed legs ! But me ..being part of a clan of suckers who would lose their virginity one day before they reach impotency !! i mean male menopause or something na !! Sex was what you would see only in Cathode ray tubes ..and in Pictures ..The stuff dreams and nightmares were made of ! The thing you did to yourself when excitment is unbearable ! I dont have anything to do with sex.I hope they marry me off soon ..in the next five year or something .but by then i would sure to lose all my excitment with sex .and i am sure my loss of excitment would surely benefit my frustrated wife on the look out for youngthings on Pulsors and cycles while i am out in office chugging aways codes and codes of mind numbingly useless programs ! But i had no rights to feel offended .It was a fantasy of mine till i turned to 18 to sleep with those pretty mammas who neighboured our home while their husbands who must have lost thier virginity on age of 40 worked abroad and enriched India s foreign exchange rates ..albiet marginally

Enough was enough ! Its almost twenty six years now since i stepped out of womb ..and almost 10 years since i had experienced my first ejaculation .still it was seeing only the impression of my palm my dear thing down under . Its time that i finally got its due ..I needed a girl friend .

I felt like that stupid Senthil asking Manisha Koirala ...what he lacked that Kamal hasan had ! Yeah logically he was correct only and when you switch off the light i dont think there would be much of a difference between kamal hasan and senthil ...not as much as there is between a ferrari and Mini without petrol! they are just both junk wieghts ...Yah what was wrong with me ! when you switch of the lights that is ! Hmm...i guess nothing

But still i never been a babe magnet .May be it got to do with the place that i am coming from . I always beleived that Kottarakara was a place which groomed morons and politicians .Virtually everyone was trapped in a virtual emotional blindness .The only conversation elders had with youngsters was only about when they are going to school .. what job ..what course ..yeah ..there were some occasional messengers of god ..willing only to exploit our helplessness and social condition . Yeah man .. Kottarakara . Small town with a smaller attitude ,hmm..that definetely caused some anxiety sydrome in me in the way it had always made me feel smaller than i really am . But i was brilliant as a student (atleast i wish to think that way) i had always passed exams without fail . Sometimes i even managed to top the class..And what big mouth i had .I could just about say anything to anyone without caring where i was or whom i was speaking to

Yeah that s it ..I just need to go out there and talk ..Open my mouth and leave it to magic .And that is how i lost my first teeth which inevitably made me visually challenging for onlookers for more than the first glance to look at ! Nowadays even dogs are being scared to look at me for more than five minutes . Talk about symmetry and genetics !! I mean i was perfectly okay with my smile .But the brother of the first girl to whom i proposed after the realisation and confidence of my new found trust in my speaking talents , I had casually just mentioned to Blessy that i was wildly attracted to her and i would not mind having to sleep with her ..Initially she just was speechless . Then she had slapped me ..I should have known that her slap was only a sign of things to come.Just a trailer and teaser before the realy super duper hit ..her brother would stop my M80 and would thrash me in the middle of the road ..

Gandhi must have been a moron to have suggested that you show your other cheek when you are slapped . I showed it and got a bigger slap . I was hoping so desperately that i would not repeat my experience with the one who was smiling at me across the cafe bar ..Was she really smiling at me ! naa .. may be laughing .She must be an oracle ..She must have read through my incessant frustrations .. She was having a cruel joke about me in her mind . What a schmuck i must be ! she must have thought on similiar lines . Okay ... so far so good ! but there was something reassuring to me about the way she looked at me .never at once had she taken her glimpse from me. I think she has this twisted taste ...you know wierd taste .. Not everyone likes to eat raw fish .. rotten eggs ..but there are some people who really love it ..There are even people who would eat tube lights and nails . May be she was just a wierdo trapped in a beautiful female booty !

What the hell , I was ready to take my chance . I mean .. what i got to lose . I lost the better part of my dignity wheni made an arse of myself in front of a class nearing 80 females on a monsoon day when i realised my zipper was open , and i was wearing a torn underwear ..gloriously revealing my most darkest and ugliest secrets . Not a single female dared to look at any direction in which i was coming ! but that was okay ..Past is past and it had helped me exhaust what little illusion i had about my dignity . Having had enough bad taste in cofee shops which served Cuppucino . I just went inside and ordered a Coke

Yeah ..it was so obvious She was looking at me only . I was slowly sipping my coke . I would so casually and so stealthly return her looks with mine ..the way i looked had always been very ugly and untasteful . Wait a minute .. she stood up ,....still looking at me ! Wow wonderful . I did nt knew what to do when i sensed that she was slowly walking towards me ! It was a rainy day and i was sitting in an airconditioned room and still i could feel the sweat running down my forehead . Yah ..she was walking towards me . What was wrong with today .. everything was going so right . I wished i had bought a lottery ticket . i was sure i would win the first prize .

This is just not possible . She was almost three feets from where i was sitting and still looking and walking towards me . This was too much . and i was sure that she was coming for a different reason . May be to pay the bill . May be because she had left something near my seat . I just took out my mobile .There was no calls ..no messages for me . Yet i just fiddled with it as if i was having the most important call of my life.

The way i smiled at her when she said hi .. that will go down in my pathetic history as the most embaressinly ugly and uninviting smile EVER. I mean it was as pathetic and unimaginative as my copied love letters that i gave to every third female that i met ! To my surprise she so gracefully accepted my smile and asked whether she could sit next to me and if i was expecting some one !

This better be real , i hoped . She introduced herself as Shabnam . Now wait a minute . That was something i remembered ! yah Shabnam . But i just could not remember who she really was . She was somewhat upset .on my failure to express some immediate shock or surprise on meeting her on that day at that place .Oh but ofcourse .. Faiz s sister !

She have been there in chennai ever since i landed in this shittly place . She had recognised me from long distance . Now this really shattered all my new found vigour and confidence of my looks . I was really expressionless in the next half an hour dull and dragging conversation with her . It was the most lifeless few minutes that i could ever spent with anyone . Faiz was always very cruel to me ! He even beat me up once ..black and blue . I was sure he would enjoy beating me up again .. for the most silliest of reasons . Some how all the appeal and charm that i saw in Shabnam .. was immediately distilled when she mentioned Faiz . What was i thinking !

Back in my room , I was doing what i did best ! posting ads on adsense . I was sure that i would lose my virginity one day . One day before my impotency and just an hour before i am hunted by erectile dysfunction .Till that time i had adsense .. and some Debonair to comfort me !

Life sux man ! so how do i live with it !! i just lie !! you know untruth !! dreams !! phone sex !! now get out of here and get me some nice girls

First money -Fast money- Adsense
Its as if the world has been obsessively compulsively disordered by one single factor which unites all of its humanity to a common and singular aim in life ! that of making money ..heaps of it .. large chunks and tons of it !They are willing to do anything for paper with Goverment seal of transaction on it .Murder , Rape , Roconnaissance .Comedy , acting ! WHat not ! some are even Presidents for the want and assurance of money

Very rare and few are not comparetively obsessed about money , They are lunatics.and are locked up in Prisons .or misunderstood and stoned . Worse become Icons and called saints . What is so magical about money !

There was a period in my life where i was not so much Obsessed in life about money ! Who am i , ah i forgot to introduce myself na! okay I am Papz . People also call me Krishna . Of the people who call me Krishna , very few i Promote..Like one female called Afrida ! .. Hmm..that period was the time i had spent in nurturing thoughts of making myself creatively available for fellow conniosuers of art and fine things in life .Days and night were so magical and young as well as enchanting .life was nothing short of infinite possibilities.where there was enough time to sleep without guilt and enough food to be eaten without worrying about time or guilt of getting fat . where the most immediate worry was about the mark you may score in the next exam ..or at worse about your next tactic to impress someone who was pissed of so badly during the last time that she refuse to even look at your face even when you are staring point blank at her for the whole day .

I really wondered how humans could change over the years. experience really shapes their personality in ways unfathomable . And after we achieve things more often than not loses their importance . and you almost feel sorry for having lost even the most insignificant things in life .Strange yet more factual than it is fictional !

College was really funny . I really wondered how i could propose to so many girls at so frequent an interval . Being a small college , you almost end up knowing even the blade of grass by Name by the third week you have cofee with them ! But small it was only in numbers . But complexities ... Each individual was an enormous enigma in the ways which left me confused about what they really wanted.One thing..only this much was sure for me ..that every single individual who looked at me must have found something interesting in me ! my Body ..face .. non existant Biceps .

It would not be criminally dishonest if i say that it was more curiousity than hormones which had driven my initial pull towards the girls .And ofcourse . it was considered sort of an image building excercise to say the very least to have atleast someone of opposite sex wildly interested in you . It was at that time that it had occured to me that the Black bombshell Afrida was very obviously single . I mean she was virtually the only one who was ever not engaged with conversation or with telephone over message.Besides She had a silence which had made him assured that she was lonely .

It s always funny when you are not introduced to a girl , and you are wildly interested in her . You do very desperate things to get her attention and years of wisdom so painfully grows along the guilt of having done something incredibly stupid . I mean retarded stuff ..stuff even santaclaus would not do on a christmas day ! Hmm.. i m talking about the way i proposed to her ..or sort of . some crazy ass has told me that she liked Choclate very much . I too have heard that females are wildly attracted to choclate ..and common .. For ages it has been known as a best aphrodesiac . So i tried my luck with Choclate . And i bought lots of it . Literally , I have exhausted the last bit of my pocket money on the best available choclate in the canteen . Hardly had they anything more expensive than could be afforded by Poor students on a diet decided by budget . So i could not buy any expensive choclate . i had to do with Numbers .Where quality is lacking i will do with quantity . She could have lots of it the whole load of it . She could have till she puked ..or sort of !!

Knowing that she would leave to ooty next half an hour a sudden sense of urgency and panic had stuck my mind ! Hardly was it few one kilometer from where i was and from where she would board the bus . And the moron in the canteen was less than able to put the choclates in the packet which would attract even my grandmother ! And this was too huge and investment not to fructify . I just had to do with a Polythene cover .The one which i used to feel so embarressed to take it out to market on a deserted sunday afternoon even ! I cursed among the few ..George W Bush for my plights that day . Hmm any ways ..the choclates was somewhat attractive . atleast i hoped so .

I never knew that i could run so fast . May be it was the choclates were feeding my nerves .Apetiser of soul may be even ! I could see her coming from far . She had a few bags and few ugly bags ..uglier friends .I always had hated Afrida s friends . I thought they were the ones who had currupted her to accepting and appreciating American Nuclear policies . I was till panting under the tree as she was walking towards me . would she kiss me in the lips for buying all the Choclates in that shop .One in each variety !or would she kiss me in the soul with her silence and teasing enchanting smile ! I did not know

I always was amazed how silent and confidant she was even while i was trembling myself for having run out of good humour !I just stood thier like an idiot .I had to talk about the weather and had to ask her the most cliche questions like where she is headed .She must have thought i was somekind of freak for asking such obvious and stupid unimaginative questions.

My very violent sprints failed the strength of the cover , There was a small hole in the bottom of the choclate covers.. it was very embarressing and stupid to look back and see a trail of choclates starting right from the small shop from where i bought the choclates ..Lo.....my whole weeks pocket money was laying there ..as evidence to how stupid and how unimaginative a human can get under the influence of baby testosterone . Words failed me so did emotions when i saw one more was falling right from the cover as i was standing there invariably looking at her , my cover , and my empty pocket

If there is one thing i am not entirely disgusted about the whole incidence is my courage ..or rather lack of intelligence in picking up some of the choclates from the trail .. and getting them back to the cover .. and Giving them to Afrida ! God who ever named her Afrida !As she took it from me ,..she asked me the most painful question .. She asked me whether it was my Birthday . She must have been in Hitlers concentration camps as an employee .. how could someone have the heartlessness to see something as stupid as what i have done .. and still believe that i would be celebrating my birthday by doing something as desperate as this . To my dismay , i found myself nodding my head .

Believe it or not ... this was the way we had met first ..Although being in the same class with her for about one whole year . My appearance reflected in anything with a shiny surface had always discouraged my advancements with girls . I was simply too good .. or so i wanted so desperatley to believe !So i ended up making the most crankiest of jokes and making the most funniest and at times most arrogant of comments .. hoping desperately that anyone wth apprecaition for sense of humour and oddities would atleast dare to look at my corner.But my first meeting with Afrida had failed all my notions about what i had thought about her . At times i thought she was scared of me ..or secretly resented me . When she had came back from her place , i had got her Mobile phone number .

I had lost many layers of my fingertips and keypad in the months which followed. Free message must have been one mistake cell operators would have regretted having given to us as a facility !mostly it was messaging .I wondered ..really wondered what i was to her .She never really aknowledged her feeling towards me . but she confirmed one thing only ..only one thing ..that she could never be in love with me . And i was so stupidly insanely and naivley in love with her .

Not even micro seconds must have passed with the pace of those two years that i spend on phone ..messaging and mails with her . I thought that we had talked through almost anything under the sun .. from sex to religion ...to politics ..philosphies .. food .. kids..movies ..music .I had to read a lot to keep up with the interesting pace of conversation . i had even imagined poetic permenance to our relationships .. I had fantasised about our relationships taking many colours .. that of lovers..brotherhood ... motherhood .. what not ! I had even imagined us messaging each other about stories of movies we had seen just twenty five minutes before we died !

Looking at my clock at 3 '0 clock in the office on a friday evening , All that thoughts haunted my belief in true love and money . Afrida had said good bye once and for ever when last year she had ditched me for a very rich and handsome individual handpicked by her father in Dubai . I felt really disgusted at the whole concept . How could she be so insensitive to my feelings . Is it true that she too was something less innocent than a dogs bottom which was fucked by so many rabid cats ! Wow .. how could she have said all those really nice things about me ! Is it true that she was the same individual who had called him up when ther was a bomb blast in Bangalore .

World was indeed strange .. It has stoned Jesus .. and made George W Bush the President of America ..Although totally unrelated events and individuals in a totally different time scaled..they reflected the average reality of human evolution . I too needed stoning ... from reality ..from Kanja ! from Afrida .I still remembered how defeated .Powerless and so sub human i felt in convincing her that i can somehow work it out between us both . I was still studying at that time , and so was she , But she was a much brighter than me ! Physically , emotionally , and economically ! and she just could not deal with the financial aspects of having to settle with me . But she was cunning enough not to admit to her very raw and cunning motives . She would always flower her bullets with words like friendship .. and what crap ! But i never felt sorry for loving her .I still did ! love her or sorts . But my love i felt was so very much totally unjustifiable even to myself . And this self ..my self was the biggest problem

Myself was incapable of making enough money to meet my very dream and longing since the dawn of my conscious days . I thought even if i made all the money in the world , i would just not get another single moment with my Afrida !

Money ..money .. Money was my revenge ..and i thought that somehow if had made enough money , i would eventually find a way to meet her on a daily basis .. or atleast i thought i would find ways of making her memories less painful . I thought my material gains would compromise my emotional losses .

That is when i heard about adsense .. And it has been a straight ..steady .. erosion of love ..happiness and faith ever since ..


So my advice to you is ..dont believe in love .. dont believe in pain .. dont believe in adsense too .. for they are all a big hoax and conspiracy by none other than Mr you know how .. George W Bush

Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard? Kerala (Other plazes they do werk hard)Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding

and re-tying the lungi.

Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?

Because he wanted to hear pope music.

What is Malayali management graduate called?

Yem Bee Yae.

Why did his wife divorce him?

Because he was louwing another woman.
Who found out that? His aandy. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America? He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren. What does a Malayali use to commute to office(oaffice) everyday?

An Oto.
Who is Malayali's fyamousu eactor end aectress? Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.

Why Kerala is the heghly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL YOU CHAIN MAIL ADDICTS :

Please don't delete this file after reading, at least you

should send this as mail to: 10 Malayalis & you will receive cecenut oil 20 Malayalis and you will receive benena chips 40 Malayalis you will receive appams

Why the hell do we marry
67

By Myriad






Love dies in marriage !



Today , i am only 26 . Its too early to say that i am an eternal bachelor . But i had a philosophical and logical reasons for staying single for a long time . and Eternally if things confirm to what thoughts that come to my mind .

Marriage is somthing which is taken for granted .most people marry out of inevitablity of the whole thing . Its almost insane to remain a single . Even the very word will sound very vulgar after a particular age . To be a bachelor after 30 atleast in that part of the world where i live is a very big shame . I had met quite a few bachelors in my life . My mentor in the early days of growth was a person whom i used to call fondly as Roshin swamy . He was a person well past his 50s . He used to look unusually sophisticated for the place where he was . He was a brahmin . he used to read English newpaper and was the object of pride for my Father s restaurent . He was sort of a clerk ,in my fathers restaurent in that shanty town .He was the first person i knew who spoke understandable english . My father knew him like he knew a tragedy . I used to feel puzzled why my father was so worried about Roshin swamy. Roshin swamy was a bachelor in old age .No one wants to take care of old aged . They are just a big burden for them .

Old age brings its burden to the very person itself . Old age is the biggest challenge and a kind of injustice nature has done to human freedom and intelligence . Everything comes with a baggage and old age and human handicap of our disintegration before ourselves seems to be the biggest baggage related to being old and human and alive . I felt less sorry for the plight of people who commited suicide . There should not be any more tragedy than dying from old age . feeling like a beggar . In front of children who grew drawing from their own blood .

Being lonely is another big challenge of being a bachelor . i ve heard that i you find the key to being alone , you find the key to happiness and human destiny .It is the sense of lack and inferiority that is driving us to having relationships with people .

I finally decided to be alone in my life . No marriage in my life , i thought . i will not marry . As i was leading my life like that . i gradually began to become obsessed with many of my sensory , intellectual and emotional pursuits . My love desire and longing for a human relationship was replaced by my equally disastrous love and desire for things material . Like i grew in my fondness towards my bike . its quite funny how remorseless you are in spending money on shamefully expensive things of passion when you are young , so i was too quite shamless in spendng a big part of my saving in a sports bike that i yearned to own ever since i graduated from high school .

I used to feel satisfied to ride the bike through its engineering limitations . Going to various places.. I think tarmac is designed for bachelors to lose their sorrows and quite possibly entire life too . But never virginity . I rode aimlessly to many places i did not knew . some places i did knew ..like auroville. Auroville . a model community of people with different ethnic , national . and religious backgrounds with aim to find supreme peace and divine consciousness. It was located in a place more known for cheap and quality liqour . I did not had any drinks that time when i went . I just spend some time in the garden with the trees . I realised then that i had lost my poetry . in among those years lost in chasing something impossible .. life . Life has stolen from me my very source of eternal youth ..my poetry .

I used to write poems and give it to girls . There had been many stupid girls and equally stupid desires of mine which were subjects of my poems . Funny how words would appease these feelings to something which found satisfaction from my soul . My love with sheni was the last time i had felt romantically inclined towards anything human . Through out she had considered me like a sibling . And i was incestous in my romantic advancements towards her. Shameful remorse did not find any audience in my poetry . I just felt like a traveller who had lost and remembered his path and destiny .

Sheni had reminded me of the uselessness of human relationship in advancement of one s purpose in life . Her photos and movies in my mobile and media devices had haunted me like my memories towards her . But i did no deleted them . My friends who visited my blogs and intruded my photos had started to look at me like a person with vulgar imagination . why did i had to feel shameful for being open in my feeling towards and individuals ...

there is someting called a marriage market . where people are mercilessly traded for their qualitites. ..education..career..these are all indices which decide your value .. how good a girl you get. how much moolah or money you can make in that marriage .

For millions of humans .. marriage is the only thing they look forward to after they see daylight out of thier mother s womb . Singular obsession of human mind shaped in Indian terrain ! Today is the marriage of a girl who was kind to me . I began to sense a feeling of sadness which defied the sense of purposefullness i had in my shaped thoughts of abandoning natures will of reproduction.

The original Sin .. sex .. the imagination of dull individuals .. that must be the single reason ..drive to force us into succumbing our lions share of freedom and human potential to the areas of excretion . I often wondered the significance of having a hole for human reproduction near that of human excrement and urination . May be signify the similiarty in those materials and the very human life . We are almost similiar in value ..and purpose .

Having realised my similiarity to degrading and digested processed nutrients , i decided to contribute my part to the rebellion of intelligence to natures conspiracy . I decided to stay single .. for a very long time .. may be till the day i died . This was a big decision . May be the one which was going to change the course of human destiny . ... ....................but what do i know .may be my decision to stay single is as in significant and millions of suicides .. Trillions of death ..each day .. which fed life . My decision stood to be ridiculed by Nature and hopelessly infinite number of morons willing ..only too willing to succumb their will to that which was hidden in bushes ! Goerge bush ! of England !!

Humanity or male humanity .. obsessed with one single thing .. and inch of depession in human flesh surrounded by thick hairs which looked and felt better shaved ! Hormones were playing havoc with his intelligence .

Oh my dear myself .. when would you wake up to this reality and stop ruining your heath ..mental ..moral ..emotional .. physical ..spiritual ..

To make it light .. here are some jokes

Famous Quotes about Wives

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

********

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

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The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

********

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

********

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

********

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Pay attention Hub !
64

By Myriad



interesting hub -Make it !



How to make blog interesting

Trouble making your blog interesting , Dont worry , you are not alone , Its not very common to find people with a fine taste for shakespeare and homer in your everyday life . People are so damn lazy , That is the nature of how human mind works

Nothing can catch them attention unless involving nudity or description of intimate exchange of body fluids .So porn needs no introduction or advertisement So readily popular.Just by mentioning the word i beleive i already caught your attention

Here are a few donts and do s to make it blog very naughty and kinky in a rather interesting and readable ways !

1. The first hint of how interesting my blog was got by my girfriends comment , how boring it was . Usually my blogs were always about myself..my exploits ,Frustrations ..life and death and what little philosophical crap i could get my comprension upon .. Humans are so infinitely involved with themselves .The very nature of human mind was what made me write what i did and why my hubs were so less interesting ! , So description of your antics hardly ever meets anything other than brickbats . So Dont talk too much about yourselves ..unless you sleep with willsmith and JanetJackson in the same night in the same bed !

2.Dont talk too much about talked about subjects. The one really annoying factor which makes any of my surfing endeavours boring is the repetition of content. No matter how good the content you will definetley get bored .Even celebreties get divorced man . there are no exception to the rule that familiarity breeds contempt .Think out of the box . write some stuff which you is out of ordinary .sex it up using your antics ,I think variety is a very good drawer for your contents .

3.Do have some undercurrent of motivation .

I dont know about others.For me i ll get fed up with reading really negative stuff .Man already my girlfriend is so ugly ..why do you want to torture me by writing about it !! or about anything bad and worse ! So even if you are a die hard critic .Have some light at the end of the tunnel . Offer not only problems but also some clue to the solutions.Life is made bearable to live by what positive energy we have . so Write them blogs with love and passion with lot of positivity .

4.Take up a good personality

I think its is not only the content of the blog .but also the personality of the blogger that takes up the attention of the reader . I dont think Harry potter would have been a hit if it had been written by George bush .I would dismiss even without reading it as a book full of crap and vomit mixed with american politics . Its not the words that people read.Its their own interpretations and ideas .that people read through your blog ! So Assume a colourful and honest personality . but dont lie to yourself and your readers .Truly try to become someone attractive , if not physically , intellectually and emotionally

5.Be nice to people

I think what make the article is not only its own content but also the comments of people . there are some blogs /hubs in which original content itself was so meagre but the comments were truly rich and made the hub really readable and commendable ! So its not only yourself who contribute to the popularity of your hub but also people who comment too.!!

6.Dont be a propagandist

I dont truly know what the above meant ..but what i am trying to say is that ..by not being a decisive and judgemental person and truly being open to ideas and change can be quite inviting for people who visit your worded thoughts . So be real . dont try to stick to your ideas ..Ideas are only ideas man ..just some chemical reactions in brain cells .but people friendship .. and relationship .. man ..that is something worth being contradicted .

There are some cheap tricks too ..which i deem not worthy to be mentioned here . but am aware and not use anyways ..if you guys know some tips be sure to share it with me too ! guys !!

and girls

Note : there is some rumours that i started this hub to get laid ! so understand my intentions !

cheers !!

Some interesting trivia of operating system ! phew



A Glimpse of OS History

A Background

Early computers lacked any form of operating system. The user had sole use of the machine and would arrive armed with program and data, often on punched paper and tape. The program would be loaded into the machine, and the machine would be set to work until the program completed or crashed. As machines became more powerful, the time needed for a run of a program diminished and the time to hand off the equipment became very large by comparison. Accounting for and paying for machine usage moved on from checking the wall clock to automatic logging by the computer. Run queues evolved from a literal queue of people at the door, to a heap of media on a jobs-waiting table, or batches of punch-cards stacked one on top of the other in the reader, until the machine itself was able to select and sequence which magnetic tape drives were online. Where program developers had originally had access to run their own jobs on the machine, they were supplanted by dedicated machine operators who looked after the well-being and maintenance of the machine and were less and less concerned with implementing tasks manually. When commercially available computer centers were faced with the implications of data lost through tampering or operational errors, equipment vendors were put under pressure to enhance the runtime libraries to prevent misuse of system resources. Automated monitoring was needed not just for CPU usage but for counting pages printed, cards punched, cards read, disk storage used and for signaling when operator intervention was required by jobs such as changing magnetic tapes.

All these features were building up towards the repertoire of a fully capable operating system. The true descendant of the early operating systems is what is now called the "kernel". In technical and development circles the old restricted sense of an OS persists because of the continued active development of embedded operating systems for all kinds of devices with a data-processing component, from hand-held gadgets up to industrial robots and real-time control-systems, which do not run user-applications at the front-end. An embedded OS in a device today is not so far removed as one might think from its ancestor of the 1950s.

The Mainframe Era

Early operating systems were very diverse, with each vendor or customer producing one or more operating systems specific to their particular mainframe computer. Every operating system, even from the same vendor, could have radically different models of commands, operating procedures.

The state of affairs continued until the 1960s when IBM, already a leading hardware vendor, stopped the work on existing systems, and put all the effort into developing the System/360 series of machines, all of which used the same instruction architecture. IBM intended to develop also a single operating system for the new hardware, the OS/360. However as the performance differences across the hardware range and delays with software development, a whole family of operating systems were introduced instead of a single OS/360. The best part is that IBM maintained full compatibility with the past, so that programs developed in the sixties can still run under z/VSE (if developed for DOS/360) or z/OS (if developed for OS/MFT or OS/MVT) with no change.

Minicomputers and the rise of UNIX

The beginnings of the UNIX operating system was developed at AT&T Bell Laboratories in the late 1960s. Because it was essentially free in early editions, easily obtainable, and easily modified, it achieved wide acceptance. It also became a requirement within the Bell systems operating companies. Since it was written in a high level C language, when that language was ported to a new machine architecture UNIX was also able to be ported. This portability permitted it to become the choice for a second generation of minicomputers and the first generation of workstations. By widespread use it exemplified the idea of an operating system that was conceptually the same across various hardware platforms. information.

The Personal Computer Era

The first microcomputers did not have the capacity or need for the elaborate operating systems that had been developed for mainframes and minis; minimalistic operating systems were developed, often loaded from ROM and known as Monitors. One notable early disk-based operating system was CP/M, which was supported on many early microcomputers and was closely imitated in MS-DOS, which became wildly popular as the operating system chosen for the IBM PC (IBM's version of it was called IBM-DOS or PC-DOS), its successors making Microsoft one of the world's most profitable companies. In the 80's Apple Computer Inc. (now Apple Inc.) abandoned its popular Apple II series of microcomputers to introduce the Apple Macintosh computer with the an innovative Graphical User Interface (GUI) to the Mac OS.

The introduction of the Intel 80386 CPU chip with 32-bit architecture and paging capabilities, provided personal computers with the ability to run multitasking operating systems like those of earlier minicomputers and mainframes. Microsoft's responded to this progress by hiring Dave Cutler, who had developed the VMS operating system for Digital Equipment Corporation. He lead the development of the Windows NT operating system, which continues to serve as the basis for Microsoft's operating systems line. Steve Jobs, a co-founder of Apple Inc., started NeXT Computer Inc., which developed the Unix-like NEXTSTEP operating system. NEXTSTEP would later be acquired by Apple Inc. and used, along with code from FreeBSD as the core of Mac OS X.

Minix, an academic teaching tool which could be run on early PCs, would inspire another reimplementation of Unix, called Linux. Started by computer student Linus Torvalds with cooperation from volunteers over the internet, developed a kernel which was combined with the tools from the GNU Project.

Destiny and me !
Destiny had always had a funny way with Naughty ale ! It was the first time in his entire life of eating and sleeping with occasional boozing life ..that it had occured to him that he had somthing which resembles him to his ancestors a few hopeless generations ago . Ale had a growing belly which was in those days considered as a symbol of prosperity and well being .

Ale had always thought that he was very sexy and charming ! To be honest .. who does not think of himself as very sexy except for sick in mind !! Ale always ate whatever he wanted .Food had always comforted him from the contradictory reality of his charm and sex appeal . The more he ate .. the more he felt good ..about eating . It was that part of the world which was late in catching up the fad diets and zero looks that Ale grew up with his granny . Granny was in an never ending quest to see her grandson grow .but her idea of growth was only the physical ..size .. of body . She thought if he had grown earlier .. he would have more time to do all those things which used to make her feel amused about grownups . Ale was always supported and cheered in his fine taste for anything fattening ! Ale grew up on a steady diet of Potato and buffallo milk . with mind numbing cake giving him intermittant breaks . Ale always took digestive aids to help overcome the hiccups of the overloaded digestive system .

As he stood in front of the mirror seeing how hopelessly far he was from Tom cruise's chiseled biceps and tummy . But he had seens infinite number of advertisements with promises to reduce fat within days and weeks in most of the adult sites that he visited . He promised himself to click on one of those damn Google adsense ads next time he visited one such site . It was breakfast time for him . It was never habitual for him to feel filled or guilty about the insanely large portion of steak or beacon that he usually had at breakfast . Breakfast was not something he enjoyed thoroughly . It was the experiments he had with his indian friends with food that he found on various cuisines that had really made him down it with delight ! He especially liked those spicy food . Dosa ..samosa !

Granny almost never used to comment about Ales slightly overwieght bulk being ungainly to look at . But Ale was surprisingly shocked to hear it from her granma that he was looking so bulk . What had happened to granma . Have the words of crap from those hopeless salesmen of aerobic plastics influence grannys Aestheticaly outlook of human body! Was she becoming aware of the latest crazes about looking skinny ! Who knows TV has made everything very visible ! and heard . Ale cursed for being so blissfully ignorant about the growing mass of shapeless flesh growing around him

FAT .. what was it ..just lipids man .. just some glycerol and wax ... It would not be so hard to get rid of them fat to become a lean mean killing machine .

Atleast that must have been what was going through when ale was spending the first day at that hopelessly puzzling and menacing treadmill ! It was easy enough when he first stepped into matt of the machine . He actually felt somewhat good. He was granted his allowance for indulging in Nike shoes and other valuable accessories which had made execerise look somewhat bearable . It was not long before ale realised that he was not his usual self that day . He could sense the breakfast struggling equally hard with him to get out of that now efficient digestive system ! He felt really ridiculous to have decorated Masters dumbells with digestive enzymes and half digested food.He decided that the form of exercise which involved primitive and very silly movements with wieghts was not going to do very much help for his fat suite . He needed to run .. Like that DMX ad .. he ll lose it fast in Aerobics

Atleast that was what he thought .. when he joined the aerobic class . Having grown in sensitivity and in pain to every inch of his body having musculature after a week of training , He actually began to feel that he was becoming fit . Now it was time to indulge . I mean how long could you avoid those tastes which made you groan in ecstasy ! So on that saturday . he went all out in making sure that he could not be stuffed anymore even for an inch of food !

He actually began to look good in front of the mirror . when he avoided the angles which revealed the real shape of this sagging behind ! Enough was enough .One week of rest could make me more recuperated and more energetic for my session the week after . that was what he thought ..even after ix years after he left Sams aerobic class .. and exercise as a whole

He thought it was a conspiracy of Corporate sponsers to make them skinny models with their musculature exposed to be good and appealing . ! As years grew , he slowly teached himself to like people who were nearing edge of shapelessness ! He even found someone attractive enough ! He brainwashed himself to believe that true beauty lies in a persons soul when he planted his first kiss to a hopelessly beautiful person of the same sex . Who said there are rules to life ..and love and exercise ! Its as chaotic as my Granma s Apple pie

Read Ales bumper sticker

"Love is when you look into someone's eyes And see their heart." Jill Petty

There is something really unique about how each sees one s mother . We never ever think about our mother as really beautiful or attractive . we just take for granted even if she was the most beautiful woman in the planet . For us mother is our mother .She does not have existance as anything else than our mother . She must have been young some day . Someone who have caught the fancy of young rowdy men ! just the way some females catch my dream .Often have i heard about young females inquiring about my mother in a very sarcastic way whenever they sense my presense intruding their seeming boundary of privacy . But mother was embodiment of kindness.She is the one individual whom you expect to forgive you for sins even you would not forgive yourself for . Mother was my balm for emptiness. Mother was the only woman in my life well into the late 25 s ..until sheni came to my life !
Just the same way as mother is an influence in your life , so is the influence of the place you grow up . You will never ever see your hometown in terms of its infrastructure devlopment ..or growth potential of industry or job oppurtunity . See i was never a landlord in my hometown . but had loved it as my own blood . There was something charming about Kottarakara.It was may be the unique was my hometown was mentioned in chauvinistic arguements . may be it was the notoriety for which it was dreaded for ..which made me respect my Kottarakara.Or was it the bustand which was the symbol of everybodies teenage expressions of love and frustration!

It was also a place which beared witness to my first experience with love . and perhaps to a certain extent ..life too. A place where i have spent agonizing years to grow up . A place which was suffocating to the extent of almost wanting to get out of there at any cost . A place of my schools , the place where i was cheated into believing True friendship with a piece of shit called Syam . A place where i have learnt to fear god and believe in worship and festivals .A place where i lost my years in sleep and dream and waking slumber

It was all this to all those who lived and died there . First time i came to Chennai was the time i realised that i was really far away from my Kottarakara and sheni . Even though i had studied better part of my college life outside kottarakara..it was always less than 12 hours journey from whereever i was , but chennai was quite far . Far enough to make me feel lonely ,especially with that scumbag Syam ! It was really hard for me to understand his judgement of individuals , His prejudice was infact a very stark contrast for my thoughts and respect i had for him . Have i been cheated ..deceived .But Syam also loved me as a friend ..as someone who would not curse him for being a failure in life .Infact i never considered him a failure , only he was a bit odd. Actually eccentric . Considerable days were made unnoticed by our countless arguements..about begining of life ..our destiny .. universe ..religions ,
....to be continued

Pulling of with ease ! Phew
Many a days i been left with life staring at me like an uninvited guest in party ! I was not exactly the kind of person who would die to find out the meaning of life . But its been very long since i started to wonder why life was so difficult for very normal people . like being pushed from in all directions and pulled from within for all my forward movements .. life was turning out to be a big chaos !

Was intelligence my original curse . Pain is the biggest enemy . But pain has been the evolutionary tool without which we could have no fear of moving towards self destruction and danger .Life have become infinitely complicated for those living with intelligence and understanding ! or has it . i dont think anyone is caring about the end of the world . Its their own ass that everyone is caring ultimately about . Its not how world is facing acute shortage of food and resources .But how we could benefit from an already underresourced condition of the world

Politicians .. the original sin of humanity is appointing persons to take charge of their life and destiny .. and perhaps the direction of future humanity ! Democracy has failed to salvage the human race from a self inflicted path of destruction and decay . How trained was a politician in making decisions which would affect lives of millions.Even for making decisions to save the health of a single individual , we have designed courses spanning better half of an adult life . But that individual who is supposed to make decisions which is influencing the fate of humanity is totally judged by number . How stupid are we the people in choosing hopeless morons to electoral office !

Politics is a choice between bad and the worse ..Having said that ...the bad becomes worse than the worst only for you to realise its already too late . Today i heard that diesel was not available and what was available was being sold for 63 rupees. That is more than anything life is becoming so unbearable for millions of people who are dependant on the fossil fuels . Farmers commiting suicide are a direct result of our blind path towards .. possibly nowhere .

I have spend lions share of my morning hours in reading what i could in newspapers .watching and analysing news ..and reading news analysis. I just could not understand what was happening with my country . Was i taken for a ride by media ! How informed were the media about what was happening to my country . Media is so informative about what is happening .. they have all the point of views . They are such experts in giving definitive opinions . Why cant those who rule be as intelligent atleast to understand those who merely report these events to a clueless public .

Corruption have come to be accepted as a basic fact of life for millions of indians here in INdia ! Even for anyone to do ..his ..her duty .. we need to give money unofficially with such humble obediance that i almost feel like a powerless dog everytime i approach a goverment official . It was almost impossible to be obervant towards all the rules and regulations . It seem designed for Utopia ..which india Never was .never will be and Is right now ..never ..

I have seen movies with protogonist punishing the villians with death for accepting bribes and to a certain extent almost all of them were huge box office hits failing my understanding to grasp the reality of the situation . People were so helpless. They could just not act as individuals endowed with freedom to act ... with individuality and originality ! They are just being reduced to the level of mechanical contrceptions . Working 24 hrs a day ..even in their sleep . they must have forgotten that they were living and breathing ..as humans..as intelligent potential capable of comprehension

Paranoia . .. death destruction and decay ! these words describe what media wants us to believe . This world at the current pace just could not sustain itself much longer . I was going to witness the death of a civilization .. with much pain..agony and utter disbelief !

Suicide of intelligence
I was on production support since 5 am in the morning ! i was supposed to respond immediately to whatever caught the fancy of onsite manager .I was relatively new to the project and i knew only partially about the full funtionality of application.It was simple enough when he explained it over the phone . Confused and apprehensive about my reactions ..i proceeded with whatever little knowledge i had about the system . it was around 7 that i recieved a call from Glandu .. He asked me whether i knew someone called Goerge . Goerge was my collegue and was a very lively and likable personality . I always remembered him for how friendly he was and for all the beautiful girls surrounding him in pantry . He was the sort of person who was very successful in pulling off and image which was friendly as well as influencing , it was through him that i got introduced to many fellow malayalis in my office .... Yah man i know george . I did not know how to react when i was told that Goerge committed suicide. Initial reaction was that of disbelief. It just could not be ! somehow we just could not accept the death of someone very close to us . I was not shocked initially . Infact i just could not come to terms with the death of this guy , I really wished i was dreaming ..and when i wake up things would be fine ! But this was no dream ... this was his ugly reaction to something which definetely did not warrant such sudden arrest of life in him .

I was riding my bike at an unusually high speed . For a moment i felt like crying . But anger and grief had overcome me and i was cursing whatever eventuality which made him do what was so hard for me to believe . i picked up Glandu from luz corner and we went to his room . That was the first time that i went to his room . The way to his room was dimly lit , it was a multi storeyed apartment . Being brought up in a village where there is more space than you could roam your entire life .. i just could not understand how people could live in such closed and constricted spaces . There were rooms ..flats apartments .. more so than air and openspace . There were rooms which did not have any windows too . i wondered where we were all headed . Chennai was a only in its infancy in terms of devloping into a big city but even at this stage i could see the growth of ugliness and helplessness. I never saw anything other than just a mechanical dragging of life in anyone ....anything i saw over there . It was just a nightmare which people in cities have come to accept and .... to my dismay .. even aspire to live and own .Just by the sight of such closed living space .. thoughts of depression and sadness overcame me .

George nor his friends were there . I should have known .. .. i called them up , and came to know that they were having their breakfast . All of them looked so damn expressionless for me to see any reaction in them ! They were really clueless and to a certain extent really upset too with what they were facing at that moment . They told us that they were on the way to the police station . We were asked to go to the Morgue . It was not summer in chennai . But its always hot here . The heat was our atonement .. to our aimless life ... thoughts .. and Now ..an aimless death .

It took me an hour of patient crawling in traffic for me to reach the morgue .The morgue was nothing more than the decaying bodies which it had kept . I wondered how people could behave so ordinary ..in an environment polluted by decay and death . when we first saw the outside of the building , we did not dare enter the building . It was India .. a land whose DNA was imprinted with genes of careless abundance of ignorance . We feared for the sight of my Freinds earthly remains lying there .With all the rationalisation and courage i could manage at that moment .. i went ahead and asked the guy inside with what details i could provide him . He refered to my friend as IT .. Its lying inside the freezer ..

How stupid are we to have hopes and dreams beyond our decaying body ! Where was the life which was my friend. Now he was merely and IT .. it .. not even an animal .. it was just it ! Buddha must have been really sensitive to realise it ! it the it ! our body was just a material reaction .. Millions of cells .. each having its own aim .its own mechanism of existence ..somehow has come together and formed tissues.. tissues have become nations of organs .. all in a wonderfully orchestrated biochemical reactions fathered the imagination of my existance ... Stupid did i feel to the reality of my existance . I was cheated into believing my existance and an entity . Cells which were dying and living constantly in a flux .. in love with each other and chemical environment .. for their sustanance .. have made this complex illusion of having a human life for me ! for him who was now an it !

Did he ended his miseries upon such realisations of his virtual non existance . Did he die out of failing to understand the reason and justification of such cellular conspiracy ! Only an imaginary and masturbatory god Knows .. May be that bastard president Bush knew too !what a fool we all are .. Just tools in the hands of millions of forces making us and killing us each second .. infact each microseconds ! As i stood there with all these thoughts .. i saw his friends .. coming one by one .. similiarly shocked to see the horror of his earthly remains .

It was when i went to his friends room that i had realised the fact that he had left suicide notes . That too four of them ! One was meant for his friends .. one was meant for his parents.. and one was meant for police .. .. and one ...and one was meant for a girl .. Girl .. women .. sex .. the quintessential problem plagueing humanity ever since the separation of human race into two beings with dissimiliar body features . Man s obsession with woman and his dream of utopian relationships . Just a tactic in cellular conspiracy . Blinded are we all with the charm of relationships .. I wondered what part of that girl was making this man end his potential and capablities . Those in love will never agree that they love the womans body for sex . But what else is there in woman which is not there in man . He died for that want of boobs and vagina with a symmetrical face . Just the mathematics of genetics .

Woman are always the object of pride and possesion with giving thought to a living mind inside her body ..done to death is the imagination of illusory love by millions of poets and crazy writers. There was no love . Love is just a deoderant of nature to cover the ugly reality of human lust and want for primordial motion .You fool my friend Goerge .. the IT ..it ..it ..of morgue .. What was she .. but a thought in your mind .. a cellular conspiracy .. a decaying body .. ..boobs and butt of human flesh .. symetry and mathmatics .. a visual sensation . that have overwhelmed you my friend .. My comrade and fellow victim of human tragedy . Dont you worry my friend . Death is not the end of life .. infact it is what feeds life .. what drives evolution ..Death was the father of humanity ..perhaps..But my friend .. death is the very reality of life .. you did not have to hurry yourself so much to death . it was bound to haunt you ...to hunt you ..just you needed to wait for some forty ..fifty years .and fifty years is just a fraction of a second in cosmice timezone !

But a mind driven to desperation by the reality of its deception did not understand the logic of life . So he hanged ..with a bedsheet .. and a ceiling fan .. He killed not himself ..but the hopes and dreams of his parents.. our respect for him .. My dignity for love .. He was a rapist for our faith in him .. and friendship .. and love ..

When i came next day to the office .. it was business as usual ..no one seemed to know or care to know what happened to my friend . Just worried about that day .. and how its going to shape their eternal genetic future !

I fucking cursed the entire humanity for its blindness and slumber .. and was answering my onsite call from manager ! I said everything was working fine with the system !

i remembered George .. as a memory .. as an illusion.. a cellular conspiracy