Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard? Kerala (Other plazes they do werk hard)Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding
and re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?
Because he wanted to hear pope music.
What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.
Who found out that? His aandy. What does a Malayali do when he goes to America? He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren. What does a Malayali use to commute to office(oaffice) everyday?
Who is Malayali's fyamousu eactor end aectress? Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Why Kerala is the heghly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ALL YOU CHAIN MAIL ADDICTS :
Please don't delete this file after reading, at least you
should send this as mail to: 10 Malayalis & you will receive cecenut oil 20 Malayalis and you will receive benena chips 40 Malayalis you will receive appams
Why the hell do we marry
Love dies in marriage !
Today , i am only 26 . Its too early to say that i am an eternal bachelor . But i had a philosophical and logical reasons for staying single for a long time . and Eternally if things confirm to what thoughts that come to my mind .
Marriage is somthing which is taken for granted .most people marry out of inevitablity of the whole thing . Its almost insane to remain a single . Even the very word will sound very vulgar after a particular age . To be a bachelor after 30 atleast in that part of the world where i live is a very big shame . I had met quite a few bachelors in my life . My mentor in the early days of growth was a person whom i used to call fondly as Roshin swamy . He was a person well past his 50s . He used to look unusually sophisticated for the place where he was . He was a brahmin . he used to read English newpaper and was the object of pride for my Father s restaurent . He was sort of a clerk ,in my fathers restaurent in that shanty town .He was the first person i knew who spoke understandable english . My father knew him like he knew a tragedy . I used to feel puzzled why my father was so worried about Roshin swamy. Roshin swamy was a bachelor in old age .No one wants to take care of old aged . They are just a big burden for them .
Old age brings its burden to the very person itself . Old age is the biggest challenge and a kind of injustice nature has done to human freedom and intelligence . Everything comes with a baggage and old age and human handicap of our disintegration before ourselves seems to be the biggest baggage related to being old and human and alive . I felt less sorry for the plight of people who commited suicide . There should not be any more tragedy than dying from old age . feeling like a beggar . In front of children who grew drawing from their own blood .
Being lonely is another big challenge of being a bachelor . i ve heard that i you find the key to being alone , you find the key to happiness and human destiny .It is the sense of lack and inferiority that is driving us to having relationships with people .
I finally decided to be alone in my life . No marriage in my life , i thought . i will not marry . As i was leading my life like that . i gradually began to become obsessed with many of my sensory , intellectual and emotional pursuits . My love desire and longing for a human relationship was replaced by my equally disastrous love and desire for things material . Like i grew in my fondness towards my bike . its quite funny how remorseless you are in spending money on shamefully expensive things of passion when you are young , so i was too quite shamless in spendng a big part of my saving in a sports bike that i yearned to own ever since i graduated from high school .
I used to feel satisfied to ride the bike through its engineering limitations . Going to various places.. I think tarmac is designed for bachelors to lose their sorrows and quite possibly entire life too . But never virginity . I rode aimlessly to many places i did not knew . some places i did knew ..like auroville. Auroville . a model community of people with different ethnic , national . and religious backgrounds with aim to find supreme peace and divine consciousness. It was located in a place more known for cheap and quality liqour . I did not had any drinks that time when i went . I just spend some time in the garden with the trees . I realised then that i had lost my poetry . in among those years lost in chasing something impossible .. life . Life has stolen from me my very source of eternal youth ..my poetry .
I used to write poems and give it to girls . There had been many stupid girls and equally stupid desires of mine which were subjects of my poems . Funny how words would appease these feelings to something which found satisfaction from my soul . My love with sheni was the last time i had felt romantically inclined towards anything human . Through out she had considered me like a sibling . And i was incestous in my romantic advancements towards her. Shameful remorse did not find any audience in my poetry . I just felt like a traveller who had lost and remembered his path and destiny .
Sheni had reminded me of the uselessness of human relationship in advancement of one s purpose in life . Her photos and movies in my mobile and media devices had haunted me like my memories towards her . But i did no deleted them . My friends who visited my blogs and intruded my photos had started to look at me like a person with vulgar imagination . why did i had to feel shameful for being open in my feeling towards and individuals ...
there is someting called a marriage market . where people are mercilessly traded for their qualitites. ..education..career..these are all indices which decide your value .. how good a girl you get. how much moolah or money you can make in that marriage .
For millions of humans .. marriage is the only thing they look forward to after they see daylight out of thier mother s womb . Singular obsession of human mind shaped in Indian terrain ! Today is the marriage of a girl who was kind to me . I began to sense a feeling of sadness which defied the sense of purposefullness i had in my shaped thoughts of abandoning natures will of reproduction.
The original Sin .. sex .. the imagination of dull individuals .. that must be the single reason ..drive to force us into succumbing our lions share of freedom and human potential to the areas of excretion . I often wondered the significance of having a hole for human reproduction near that of human excrement and urination . May be signify the similiarty in those materials and the very human life . We are almost similiar in value ..and purpose .
Having realised my similiarity to degrading and digested processed nutrients , i decided to contribute my part to the rebellion of intelligence to natures conspiracy . I decided to stay single .. for a very long time .. may be till the day i died . This was a big decision . May be the one which was going to change the course of human destiny . ... ....................but what do i know .may be my decision to stay single is as in significant and millions of suicides .. Trillions of death ..each day .. which fed life . My decision stood to be ridiculed by Nature and hopelessly infinite number of morons willing ..only too willing to succumb their will to that which was hidden in bushes ! Goerge bush ! of England !!
Humanity or male humanity .. obsessed with one single thing .. and inch of depession in human flesh surrounded by thick hairs which looked and felt better shaved ! Hormones were playing havoc with his intelligence .
Oh my dear myself .. when would you wake up to this reality and stop ruining your heath ..mental ..moral ..emotional .. physical ..spiritual ..
To make it light .. here are some jokes
Famous Quotes about Wives
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Pay attention Hub !
interesting hub -Make it !
How to make blog interesting
Trouble making your blog interesting , Dont worry , you are not alone , Its not very common to find people with a fine taste for shakespeare and homer in your everyday life . People are so damn lazy , That is the nature of how human mind works
Nothing can catch them attention unless involving nudity or description of intimate exchange of body fluids .So porn needs no introduction or advertisement So readily popular.Just by mentioning the word i beleive i already caught your attention
Here are a few donts and do s to make it blog very naughty and kinky in a rather interesting and readable ways !
1. The first hint of how interesting my blog was got by my girfriends comment , how boring it was . Usually my blogs were always about myself..my exploits ,Frustrations ..life and death and what little philosophical crap i could get my comprension upon .. Humans are so infinitely involved with themselves .The very nature of human mind was what made me write what i did and why my hubs were so less interesting ! , So description of your antics hardly ever meets anything other than brickbats . So Dont talk too much about yourselves ..unless you sleep with willsmith and JanetJackson in the same night in the same bed !
2.Dont talk too much about talked about subjects. The one really annoying factor which makes any of my surfing endeavours boring is the repetition of content. No matter how good the content you will definetley get bored .Even celebreties get divorced man . there are no exception to the rule that familiarity breeds contempt .Think out of the box . write some stuff which you is out of ordinary .sex it up using your antics ,I think variety is a very good drawer for your contents .
3.Do have some undercurrent of motivation .
I dont know about others.For me i ll get fed up with reading really negative stuff .Man already my girlfriend is so ugly ..why do you want to torture me by writing about it !! or about anything bad and worse ! So even if you are a die hard critic .Have some light at the end of the tunnel . Offer not only problems but also some clue to the solutions.Life is made bearable to live by what positive energy we have . so Write them blogs with love and passion with lot of positivity .
4.Take up a good personality
I think its is not only the content of the blog .but also the personality of the blogger that takes up the attention of the reader . I dont think Harry potter would have been a hit if it had been written by George bush .I would dismiss even without reading it as a book full of crap and vomit mixed with american politics . Its not the words that people read.Its their own interpretations and ideas .that people read through your blog ! So Assume a colourful and honest personality . but dont lie to yourself and your readers .Truly try to become someone attractive , if not physically , intellectually and emotionally
5.Be nice to people
I think what make the article is not only its own content but also the comments of people . there are some blogs /hubs in which original content itself was so meagre but the comments were truly rich and made the hub really readable and commendable ! So its not only yourself who contribute to the popularity of your hub but also people who comment too.!!
6.Dont be a propagandist
I dont truly know what the above meant ..but what i am trying to say is that ..by not being a decisive and judgemental person and truly being open to ideas and change can be quite inviting for people who visit your worded thoughts . So be real . dont try to stick to your ideas ..Ideas are only ideas man ..just some chemical reactions in brain cells .but people friendship .. and relationship .. man ..that is something worth being contradicted .
There are some cheap tricks too ..which i deem not worthy to be mentioned here . but am aware and not use anyways ..if you guys know some tips be sure to share it with me too ! guys !!
Note : there is some rumours that i started this hub to get laid ! so understand my intentions !
Some interesting trivia of operating system ! phew
A Glimpse of OS History
Early computers lacked any form of operating system. The user had sole use of the machine and would arrive armed with program and data, often on punched paper and tape. The program would be loaded into the machine, and the machine would be set to work until the program completed or crashed. As machines became more powerful, the time needed for a run of a program diminished and the time to hand off the equipment became very large by comparison. Accounting for and paying for machine usage moved on from checking the wall clock to automatic logging by the computer. Run queues evolved from a literal queue of people at the door, to a heap of media on a jobs-waiting table, or batches of punch-cards stacked one on top of the other in the reader, until the machine itself was able to select and sequence which magnetic tape drives were online. Where program developers had originally had access to run their own jobs on the machine, they were supplanted by dedicated machine operators who looked after the well-being and maintenance of the machine and were less and less concerned with implementing tasks manually. When commercially available computer centers were faced with the implications of data lost through tampering or operational errors, equipment vendors were put under pressure to enhance the runtime libraries to prevent misuse of system resources. Automated monitoring was needed not just for CPU usage but for counting pages printed, cards punched, cards read, disk storage used and for signaling when operator intervention was required by jobs such as changing magnetic tapes.
All these features were building up towards the repertoire of a fully capable operating system. The true descendant of the early operating systems is what is now called the "kernel". In technical and development circles the old restricted sense of an OS persists because of the continued active development of embedded operating systems for all kinds of devices with a data-processing component, from hand-held gadgets up to industrial robots and real-time control-systems, which do not run user-applications at the front-end. An embedded OS in a device today is not so far removed as one might think from its ancestor of the 1950s.
The Mainframe Era
Early operating systems were very diverse, with each vendor or customer producing one or more operating systems specific to their particular mainframe computer. Every operating system, even from the same vendor, could have radically different models of commands, operating procedures.
The state of affairs continued until the 1960s when IBM, already a leading hardware vendor, stopped the work on existing systems, and put all the effort into developing the System/360 series of machines, all of which used the same instruction architecture. IBM intended to develop also a single operating system for the new hardware, the OS/360. However as the performance differences across the hardware range and delays with software development, a whole family of operating systems were introduced instead of a single OS/360. The best part is that IBM maintained full compatibility with the past, so that programs developed in the sixties can still run under z/VSE (if developed for DOS/360) or z/OS (if developed for OS/MFT or OS/MVT) with no change.
Minicomputers and the rise of UNIX
The beginnings of the UNIX operating system was developed at AT&T Bell Laboratories in the late 1960s. Because it was essentially free in early editions, easily obtainable, and easily modified, it achieved wide acceptance. It also became a requirement within the Bell systems operating companies. Since it was written in a high level C language, when that language was ported to a new machine architecture UNIX was also able to be ported. This portability permitted it to become the choice for a second generation of minicomputers and the first generation of workstations. By widespread use it exemplified the idea of an operating system that was conceptually the same across various hardware platforms. information.
The Personal Computer Era
The first microcomputers did not have the capacity or need for the elaborate operating systems that had been developed for mainframes and minis; minimalistic operating systems were developed, often loaded from ROM and known as Monitors. One notable early disk-based operating system was CP/M, which was supported on many early microcomputers and was closely imitated in MS-DOS, which became wildly popular as the operating system chosen for the IBM PC (IBM's version of it was called IBM-DOS or PC-DOS), its successors making Microsoft one of the world's most profitable companies. In the 80's Apple Computer Inc. (now Apple Inc.) abandoned its popular Apple II series of microcomputers to introduce the Apple Macintosh computer with the an innovative Graphical User Interface (GUI) to the Mac OS.
The introduction of the Intel 80386 CPU chip with 32-bit architecture and paging capabilities, provided personal computers with the ability to run multitasking operating systems like those of earlier minicomputers and mainframes. Microsoft's responded to this progress by hiring Dave Cutler, who had developed the VMS operating system for Digital Equipment Corporation. He lead the development of the Windows NT operating system, which continues to serve as the basis for Microsoft's operating systems line. Steve Jobs, a co-founder of Apple Inc., started NeXT Computer Inc., which developed the Unix-like NEXTSTEP operating system. NEXTSTEP would later be acquired by Apple Inc. and used, along with code from FreeBSD as the core of Mac OS X.
Minix, an academic teaching tool which could be run on early PCs, would inspire another reimplementation of Unix, called Linux. Started by computer student Linus Torvalds with cooperation from volunteers over the internet, developed a kernel which was combined with the tools from the GNU Project.
Destiny and me !
Destiny had always had a funny way with Naughty ale ! It was the first time in his entire life of eating and sleeping with occasional boozing life ..that it had occured to him that he had somthing which resembles him to his ancestors a few hopeless generations ago . Ale had a growing belly which was in those days considered as a symbol of prosperity and well being .
Ale had always thought that he was very sexy and charming ! To be honest .. who does not think of himself as very sexy except for sick in mind !! Ale always ate whatever he wanted .Food had always comforted him from the contradictory reality of his charm and sex appeal . The more he ate .. the more he felt good ..about eating . It was that part of the world which was late in catching up the fad diets and zero looks that Ale grew up with his granny . Granny was in an never ending quest to see her grandson grow .but her idea of growth was only the physical ..size .. of body . She thought if he had grown earlier .. he would have more time to do all those things which used to make her feel amused about grownups . Ale was always supported and cheered in his fine taste for anything fattening ! Ale grew up on a steady diet of Potato and buffallo milk . with mind numbing cake giving him intermittant breaks . Ale always took digestive aids to help overcome the hiccups of the overloaded digestive system .
As he stood in front of the mirror seeing how hopelessly far he was from Tom cruise's chiseled biceps and tummy . But he had seens infinite number of advertisements with promises to reduce fat within days and weeks in most of the adult sites that he visited . He promised himself to click on one of those damn Google adsense ads next time he visited one such site . It was breakfast time for him . It was never habitual for him to feel filled or guilty about the insanely large portion of steak or beacon that he usually had at breakfast . Breakfast was not something he enjoyed thoroughly . It was the experiments he had with his indian friends with food that he found on various cuisines that had really made him down it with delight ! He especially liked those spicy food . Dosa ..samosa !
Granny almost never used to comment about Ales slightly overwieght bulk being ungainly to look at . But Ale was surprisingly shocked to hear it from her granma that he was looking so bulk . What had happened to granma . Have the words of crap from those hopeless salesmen of aerobic plastics influence grannys Aestheticaly outlook of human body! Was she becoming aware of the latest crazes about looking skinny ! Who knows TV has made everything very visible ! and heard . Ale cursed for being so blissfully ignorant about the growing mass of shapeless flesh growing around him
FAT .. what was it ..just lipids man .. just some glycerol and wax ... It would not be so hard to get rid of them fat to become a lean mean killing machine .
Atleast that must have been what was going through when ale was spending the first day at that hopelessly puzzling and menacing treadmill ! It was easy enough when he first stepped into matt of the machine . He actually felt somewhat good. He was granted his allowance for indulging in Nike shoes and other valuable accessories which had made execerise look somewhat bearable . It was not long before ale realised that he was not his usual self that day . He could sense the breakfast struggling equally hard with him to get out of that now efficient digestive system ! He felt really ridiculous to have decorated Masters dumbells with digestive enzymes and half digested food.He decided that the form of exercise which involved primitive and very silly movements with wieghts was not going to do very much help for his fat suite . He needed to run .. Like that DMX ad .. he ll lose it fast in Aerobics
Atleast that was what he thought .. when he joined the aerobic class . Having grown in sensitivity and in pain to every inch of his body having musculature after a week of training , He actually began to feel that he was becoming fit . Now it was time to indulge . I mean how long could you avoid those tastes which made you groan in ecstasy ! So on that saturday . he went all out in making sure that he could not be stuffed anymore even for an inch of food !
He actually began to look good in front of the mirror . when he avoided the angles which revealed the real shape of this sagging behind ! Enough was enough .One week of rest could make me more recuperated and more energetic for my session the week after . that was what he thought ..even after ix years after he left Sams aerobic class .. and exercise as a whole
He thought it was a conspiracy of Corporate sponsers to make them skinny models with their musculature exposed to be good and appealing . ! As years grew , he slowly teached himself to like people who were nearing edge of shapelessness ! He even found someone attractive enough ! He brainwashed himself to believe that true beauty lies in a persons soul when he planted his first kiss to a hopelessly beautiful person of the same sex . Who said there are rules to life ..and love and exercise ! Its as chaotic as my Granma s Apple pie
Read Ales bumper sticker